God says "Give me your whole heart"

Hi friends, do you ever wake up and feel this world is big and scary and you feel so incredibly small and frail and hopeless?

I know, I've been there many times, today might just be one of those days I feel like Solomon having all the blessings in the world and I'm still stuck searching for the meaning of it all. 

I pray and trust His promises for my life and for the failures I've face and continue going through. It just keeps me looking up, yes I yell, I get frustrated with Him and ask why He's not giving me what I want now! 

But then He sends me a simple "wink" the I see you my child stay strong and take courage in My Word and my promise to fulfill the desires of your heart, but first give me your whole heart" 

I've wanted to throw in the towel so many times for all of this Joyforfitness coaching & motivational stuff because I'm week my feelings take over to say no one cares, no one needs me to share or offer help who do I think I am? I'm a dime a dozen, pea pole want quick results for happiness not life commitments. Isn't this what   I'm saying I'm searching for "I want true happiness now I'm just like everyone else."How can Iead others if I'm still searching?

I'm not meant to be this person although I feel in my heart I am my whole life has been leading me here to this today but the hurt, the rejection, the daily boring task that take me from day seem unending at times the constant no the I'll just visit and watch answer, which makes my temper flair for the consequences of avoiding the elephant in the room...our health (you have no idea the words, the quotes, the yelling I hold back when excuses fill my inbox, I call it my Jillian M. from the Biggest looser comes out of me) I'm THAT passionate and emotionally  involved friends which is why when I feel I've failed I want to run the other way and then the WINK comes and I'm reminded my mission is complete when I share Him, when I shine so bright the only thing others can see is Him in me. I'm struggling today to shine bright and I wanted to share my thoughts because I haven't yet felt complete I'm still searching but each day I'm trying my best to allow myself to give Him my whole heart to truly submit. It's the hardest thing for me. 
Today I will not run and hide I will overcome with His help.

Yes it's day 2 of #21DFX but not one thing of that matters I know I pressed play I know it was hard and I'm sore I ate super healthy clean food.  But today my heart needs a little less fitness and a lot more Jesus. 

Joy