After sitting in a conference last week listening to Chalene Johnson speak, I had so many stories come to mind about my own marriage and me trying to leap into my dreams and leaving my husband behind after 10 years of marriage and 14 years together our communication is great but sometimes I'm the only one talking...not that he doesn't want to, I just have a hard time staying quiet long enough for him to voice his opinion.
Well, I have learned from many years of my own marriage and coaching many women that if we keep trying to do things different or wanting to see a change in their lives, health, job, finances, family dynamics etc. that we often experience pain and give up, the let down and devastation when one goes after a goal without bringing their spouse along is devastating to not only the person wanting to do things but the spouse that feels left behind.
When making a change in your own self and future you need to think of how your spouse perceives your desire for change, you taking the steps to change yourself, can be just as scary to them as you trying to change them, the thought that you might change or become different and not desire them anymore is a real threat to any marriage, so we sit in unhappiness instead of communicating our desires out of fear. And so I encourage you to have a real heart to heart with your spouse about your reasons for taking on a personal development course, a fitness class or nutrition challenge or simple wanting to be more than you are now. Not to be a different you but to be the real you, the one you feel is on the inside waiting to come out and live.
Take the time reduce the fears for both of you and gain the support you need from within your home and relationship. Growth in one person and not the other can be scary and can cause separation of you and your spouse or family but guess what it doesn't have to. I guarantee if you talk things out share your goals genuinely and ask for your spouse to join you or invite him or her to think about something they'd like to do so you can support them on that adventure.
communicating and working together makes your relationship so much better in all areas if you know what I mean.
Life begins when you give yourself permission to be the real you.
Coach Joy
Action step: plan a date night this week with your spouse, share your heart in a positive way and see what happens. don't try changing them but bring them along with you.
Chalene's note: Bring the other along from "Mine to Ours" and watch not only your life change but your marriage get stronger than ever.
I would love to hear about your goals and your date night click here to share your best tips for a happy marriage
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